Friday, July 24, 2009
-Gravity pulls me so much..
Seated at the corner, reading the instructions.. I guess i had understood it because I really read what is in it. I was even the first one who finished it, it's just that I didn't pass immediately my test paper. Yes, I'm talking about exam here. We just had our First Long Test. It may be
JUST a Long Test, still it has the same weight with Periodical Test to me, to US. Going back to the topic..I passed it na, I was just the second one. So, it was just the two of who were still outside. We were somehow saying that it was easy. It was just like that and like this. The time passed, we were already many outside talking about the finished exam. Then the
A B C D .... topic popped up.
THEN, I realized that i didn't follow the instruction given!I wrote
1 2 3 4.... instead of
LETTERS! See, it was 10 points. It's a big loss. Though, it was just a minor subject. My point is just that I was so stupid not understanding the given instruction.
Another situation.. I dreamed of being a writer. My friends know that, I guess. I don't tell it to others, yet even if
I don't, they could still know my ability right?
I was so excited to start our project in English which is broadcasting. Since the start, I've been telling the secretary that I will be going to contribute on the script. I was even given a scoop already and I was already planning the concept of it but suddenly seems the world turned round wherein I was put at the bottom part.
We were having our finalization about the topic and so on including the writers of the script. It's not my attitude to volunteer myself, I waited for her to ask me to write about it, but OMG! it torn me apart when she asked the other one. I don't know but I felt so low with myself when I was not the one she asked. I waited for my friends to volunteer me, still no one did. It was so unfortunate that my other friend who believes in me was not there to volunteer me. I know, it was my fault not volunteering myself yet it hurt me so much asking the other one and
NOT ME.J ust try to look at the deep black round
O nly silence is what it requires
A midst they sticky curling nerves I know you found
N ote of mine that often hides
N othing I could ask for more
E ach time you no longer throw a doubt
E ach word no longer a roar
L istening into it makes me feel so warmth
I had wished for this thing to happen, and now before my eyes they are seen and now sharpened.
A poem having the acronym of my name. Is that so hard to understand? Why my friend said that it's so hard to understand. Does it mean that she doesn't understand me at all? It hurts to hear those words coming from someone I thought who understands me.
It contains what I want to tell to those who don't believe on what I can do. It tells how I want to be treated and how I eagerly want to be known as someone like that not just someone one loves goofing around and making some papansin.
I was so down, being so
stupid.. being
not trusted and being
not understood.
"
I am an artist on my own eyes.. Although people may fail to see it that way," as what the one featured on the article I just read a while ago said. It's true right. It's just the matter of
YOU and
YOU alone when you don't have others.
